On Blood Draws and Twilight

I went to the lab today for my third blood draw. Both HCg and Progesterone levels will be monitored twice weekly until around 10-12 weeks gestation. For today's lab visit, I brought along a well-worn library copy of Twilight. I'm the last of my friends, and maybe the last of all humankind, to read the series.

As I signed in, the receptionist phlebotomist literally had to purse her lips to keep from giving away all the good parts of the story. She opened up to say that the series was so good, she was reading the first book again after reading them all and seeing the movie twice. Then she was back to pursing her lips.

When I was called from the waiting room to go back for the draw, the receptionist phlebotomist told the other phlebotomist to look at what I was carrying in my hands. It was just the book, but it may as well have been the holy grail. That phlebotomist, then, wanted to know my every opinion about the book, the series, the characters, the movie, and so on. I told her I was a few pages into chapter one -- I had no opinion. I just hoped it was as good as everyone let on.

I stopped talking to her and looked away from the blood pouring forth from my veins. When I did, I noticed a Twilight poster hanging ominously over a nearby draw station, and I felt just a touch uncomfortable.

The Christmas Ornament

In the midst of the holiday craziness and at the very beginning stages of this process, I bought the baby its very first Christmas ornament. Last year, after a year of back to back losses, we bought baby ornaments. We bought an individual one for both Ainsley and Zachary, and a combined one for the first and last babies who lived so briefly.

James has already been looking at cribs and sleepers and maternity clothes. I chided him for being ahead of the game, but he just said, "I'm going to enjoy this, every minute of it. That's how I want this pregnancy to be." We're doing our best to be naive once again. To be pregnant and excited and expectant. That is why when I saw the little ornament, I knew it was just right.

It's a "Baby's 1st Christmas" ornament (though I removed that part), and it shows Pooh giving Piglet a Christmas package. Around the bottom is this text: "A baby," said Pooh, "is a very nice thing indeed." With that, I concur. We feel extraordinarily blessed to be pregnant once again, and so excited to be pregnant during Christmas. It's wonderful having such a delicious little secret at such a magical time of the year.

Initial Impressions (by James)

James here. I wanted to share my current emotions and feelings.

First off, I am extremely grateful and feel that God has blessed Amanda with this pregnancy. I will be the first to admit that I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I have made the decision to "live in the moment" and not fear of the unknown.

After months of trying to conceive, I will be honest, I reached the point that I did not think we were going to ever able to conceive again. Amanda and I had recently come to realize that we would be content with this and pursue adoption further. God, thankfully, has other plans!

I have been extremely emotional. In my prayer time, meditation, listening to Christmas music, etc... I get overwhelmed with joy and tears in a matter of seconds. Leading up to this pregnancy, I "just knew" everything would be easy once we conceived. Not so. I realize there is so much that could go wrong at the blink of an eye based on our prior history in pregnancies. Yet, I am grateful!

I want to tell all my friends and the kids today, but know I can't yet. It's hard, especially for the kids. They want a baby brother/sister so bad. Gracie prays for that (literally) every night. I am thankful for those few friends we have told and appreciate their prayers and intercessions. The last 5 days have been joyous, and has made this Christmas season extra special.

Baby, I am praying for you.

35 hours

The results of today's bloodwork were really good. My HCG level was 164 and my progesterone level was 27.4. James ran the number through some system, and it calculates that my HCG level doubles every 35 hours. Provided that it climbs 66% within 48 hours, the pregnancy looks good. This pregnancy (by the numbers) looks great!

The quickness of the climb puts me at a high potential for multiples. My first scan with Dr. Trimmer is at 6 weeks on December 15. We'll see how many there are at that time. Time, please fly!

Insomnia

I'm 4w 4d, and I have insomnia. It's 3:08 A.M., and I'm only now beginning to feel like I could lay down to close my eyes. I don't know what the deal is! If there's any advantage, I get things done in the middle of the night. Still, sleep would be so much better.

Still waiting on the lab resuls. Should have them around lunchtime tomorrow.

Three days later

We've known about this pregnancy only about 72 hours, and yet, it already feels so old. Not old as in we're over it, but old as in it's only been three days?! I think we both forgot just how involved my pregnancies are! Already I've been to the lab twice and to the doctor's office once. I've spoken to the nurse probably six times on the phone and once in person. I still have to connect with Dr. Trimmer, and make my official first OB appointment. So much to do, so little time.

Because it was the end of the year, James was able to modify his benefit elections for 2009. He changed our FSA, so we'll be able to pay for a bit of this pregnancy pre-tax. That's nice. Also, our insurance plan went down about $165/month (for the same coverage), so we won't even notice what's being taken out pre-tax. We're already accustomed to it not being in the paycheck.

As for how I feel, I feel hopeful. I certainly feel pregnant physically. I've been drained and unmotivated, and I have tingly, itchy body parts. No nausea, but that's not a common symptom for me. I'd like to think I've had some food cravings, but it's too early for that. Pseudo-cravings -- that's what I've been having. Now, if only James would get on board and honor the cravings, pseudo or not. He said as long as I crave Sonic, Chicken Express, or Chio's Mexican Food (all the local restaurants -- seriously, all of them), I'm all set.

Initial Lab Results

The lab results came in just now, and it's official -- I'm PREGNANT! My HCg level was at 64, and my progesterone level was at 25.2. I can't recall a time when my progesterone level was so healthy -- especially this early! Remember, it was drawn yesterday, which should have been the first day of my December menstrual cycle. Anything 15 or higher is acceptable. Between 17-20 is good. 25 is WONDERFUL!

I really am so excited about that number because the progesterone issue is always what does me it, whether physically or emotionally. For once, I don't feel worried.

As a precaution, I'll be taking 200mg Prometrium orally only once per day. (I honestly think that's for my peace of mind rather than for any medical reason.) Additionally, I'll have monitoring labs drawn every Monday and Thursday until I reach 10-12 weeks gestation. At that point, the placenta should meet take the place of the corpus luteum and progesterone will be unnecessary.

I tried to call Dr. Trimmer (the perinatologist) to touch base and to see when he wants me in for my first scan. He'll want to make sure the placement is ok with regards to the T.A.C. (transabdominal cerclage). They're out of the office now, so I'll try again another time.

Two more tests can't be wrong...

This morning, I took two more pregnancy tests. Two different brands, even! (Just want to make sure I'm not dealing with a faulty lot.) One test showed two pink lines. The other, a blue plus sign. Three tests later, I'm pretty sure there's no mistake.

I've already called the doctor and will have blood drawn today to confirm the results. They'll also draw for a progesterone baseline. Today would be CD28, so I'm 4w 0d pregnant today.

Good News!

We found out today that I'm pregnant! We've been trying to conceive on and off since my most recent loss in August 2007. After being on high doses of Clomid for most of the year, I was beginning to be concerned about broken parts. Honestly, so were the doctors.

After developing an ovarian cyst during my Sept/Oct cycle and having my normally 28-day cycle extend to 52 days, my doctor decided we should take a month-long break. I just saw my OB/GYN two weeks ago for my annual, and he was in agreement for the month only, but then wanted us right back on the conception track. His words, "I don't care who gets you pregnant, as long as we get you there." I'm hoping he meant my doctors by medical procedures -- not some other way! :)

Anyway, this cycle was sort of a wash, what with Thanksgiving and traveling and the adoption seminar. We really had no hope. But, I had a cheap Dollar Tree test in the bathroom, and I took it late at night right before we planned to watch a movie. I took it, left it, and came back to check five minutes later. To my absolute surprise, I saw two lines!

We're very excited, but very apprehensive. Already, we've begun praying. I'll repeat the tests in the morning.